Good gal pal of mine emailed me this today.....and it seemed PERFECT for this place!
Number 10 Life is a sexually transmitted occurrence.
Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate
at which one can die.
Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
(now I finally understand the 'get me a sandwich' jokes. You can all just go make your own damned sammiches, or get a free Chick-Fil-A sammich coupon from Liz next time you see her
)
Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky-
not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers—
what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Number 10 Life is a sexually transmitted occurrence.
Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate
at which one can die.
Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
(now I finally understand the 'get me a sandwich' jokes. You can all just go make your own damned sammiches, or get a free Chick-Fil-A sammich coupon from Liz next time you see her
)Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky-
not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers—
what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
