Reverend Turbo5oh - Long but worth the read

beefcake

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This is something My buddy Vinny wrote. His wife had found it going through his stuff after he had passed away.

Vinny started our local stangbangerz site and passed away just over 3 years ago of a sudden heart attack at 37 years old.

Anyway, he was a big mustang guy and everybody that met him liked him, just one of those guys.

This post was brought back up on our stangbangerz.com site and I thought i'd pass a little of his mustang love and personality around

The honorable Reverand Turbo5oh takes the podium...........

"Dearest friends and neighbors gathered to this holy website, rejoice! For this is our time of being one with our beloved ponies. Our sanctuary is our driver's seat. Our fellowship hall is the staging lanes. Our tithes are our entry fees and you can find the holy water in the burnout box. Rejoice! Hallelujah! Can I get an Amen and a Nutter Butter? Maybe some Skittles?

It is the peak of our holy season. Oh the trials and tribulations that each and everyone of our hearts have been blessed with receiving. We have witnessed the rebirth of a few select members of our sanctum. Brother Maximus with BABB, brother 2L8IWIN has assembled his own congregation of forged pistons in the 331, Brother John is soon to experience his own rebirth of holy fury and Apostle Jeff88coupe is soon to rejoin the crusade. Amen and Hell-yeah-alluah!!!!

Peace and perseverance my brothers and sisters, take with thee, for the coming of the Stangs is indeed the right of passage that we all shall endure.

Long live your pistons, in the name of the burnout, the launch and the holy trap speeds."

****Rev. Turbo5oh takes the podium****

<ahem>

My brutha's and sista's that have gathered together today in the House of the Stang, thank you for being here and sharing your love. But I have some bad news for you my people, there is evilness and sin in this holy city. There are nay-sayers, unbelievers, deciples of the devil himself I'm here to tell you. "No! Say it isn't so Reverend!," my people say. But it's true.

Who are these evil demons? What can I do to protect myself? You must have faith my brothers and sisters, faith. Faith in your Mustang for it will lead you to better things. These demons, these nay-sayers, these unbelievers of the ways of the mustang will try to break you. Keep your faith and the faith in your fellow brothers and thine rightesnous will shine! Thou will rise above the evil demons and proclaim, "Feel my horsepower! Hear my exhaust! See me wax thine devine behind!"

Brothers and sisters, bask in your glory, behold your precious ponies and know that thine faith in thy Mustang will overcome all evil mini-vans and 4-doors and bring this family together in this house of Stang. Now put some zing in your thing, keep the bling for your ring, and bring the sting with the king.

Bless you all

Time for some holy water.......

You have found your religion right here my child.....your religion is speed and all things fast. Fear not the bringer of the rice! Stand tall my brothers and walk with cubic inches of merciless wretched being! Lay down the smacketh! Be true to thine self and prosper in the fruits of your wrenches.

Your ten commandments are as follows

Thou shall not worship any other car
Thou shall not put lights on your washer nozzles
Thou shall honour thy mother, thy father and thy speed shop owner
Thou shall go racing on the sabbath
Thou shall not covet thy neighbors turbo(s)
Thou shall kill thy parts as necessary
Thou shall not commit redlights on a pro-tree
Thou shall not lie about thy timeslips
Thou shall change thy oil accordingly
Thou shall be kind to thy bretheren Mustang owners


Now go forth my children and spread the good word.


Much love,
Rev. Turbo5oh

We will hold our first service tomorrow eveing at 7:00 at the Temple of Dave & Busters. Holy Water is about $2.50 a bottle and I plan on getting all holied up!

Let us bow our heads in prayer...

Our Father who art in Dearborn, Henry be thy name....

Yeah though I cruise down the valley of the shadow of rice, I fear NO HOnda .For I am in a Mustang.My Blower and my nitrous comforts me. It maketh me lie down some huge holeshots,Black masses and mounds of rubber and asphalt rippeth from the earth as I power wheeelie. But leadeth me from temptation from street racing for my spray is armed and set on kill. And all who shall lie in my path will be set assunder.For on the streets god is with me and IN MY CAR GOD IS WITH ME! He leadeth me down paths of rightiousness to victory .For my mustang is my kindom and my power and my glory for ever and ever.

I shall take the bread (pringles sour cream & onion) of our Lord....er, Ford and give thanks to thee I'm high...I mean on high. "Damn these chips are good!" sayeth the Lord!
Amd he begat unto them an empty can. Doth thou seeketh that wich makes one worthy of a boost gauge? Buuurp.

In the name of the blower, the turbo and the hit of nitrous, Amen.
 

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